No, uh, spark

I love a good revenge film, they’re cathartic and frenetic and steeped in this easy good versus evil existence that never exists in the real world.

So … enter a very big haired blonde-ed Kate Beckinsale, add in some neon, some weirdness, and lots of the tiny kick ass woman. I’m in. Low expectations though.


From the beginning … did the writer try to make it as dumb as HE possibly could? Levels of cortisol are too high? Really? Most women in the US have high levels of cortisol, it’s call stress, and as far as I know it’s made none of us trigger happy, super strong, or able to be kicked in the ribs by someone three times our size and get up again. If high levels of cortisol could do that for women – maybe we’d be in a better place? A lot more balls kicked, all those slaps upside the head given rather than so many of us a little overweight, exhausted, and with a low tolerance for bullshit.

So she (the character’s name is Lindy) has this stupid thing that makes no sense … okay … fine. Then her therapist sets her up on a blind date, and bam! she’s starry eyed for a … a dude bro?! So first, therapist sets her up on a blind date?! What the actual fuck?

I mean, the casting makes sense in the end, sort of. But can you imagine a tattooed, anger management mandate waiting to happen, Kate Beckinsale going for Jai Courtney in glasses and (what was it?) a tweed suit? Meh. They have two dates, some good sex apparently – cause the chemistry on screen was reminiscent of Natalie Portman and Chris Hemsworth in the first two Thor movies. (Thank all that is good in the world that Ragnarok saved Thor from the ignominy of a passionless existence – chemistry is a thing you can totally feel through the screen, particularly when it ain’t there. Let’s face it Chris and Kat had more Chemistry in the first Thor, what a shame.)

Anyway, the movie might be free to Prime members, but there are plenty of things that can spark your attention and are worthy of your time. Amazon should have paid me to watch that, my time is worth way more than this.

Shout out to capitalism for making my time a commodity, my attention a commodity.